what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
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I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
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i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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