Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
