hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
