dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
