i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
