We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize