When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
