Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
