I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
