'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize
