Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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