My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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