we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
