Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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