What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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