Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize