its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
