Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
