Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I am full of burrito and curiosity
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
