I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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