There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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