dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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