Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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