Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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