I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
