I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
