Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize