Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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