Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
