no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
