So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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