i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
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i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
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and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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