Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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