I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
