Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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