He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
