You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just gargled with NyQuil
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
