i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
