at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
