Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
