She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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