I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
its liver damage thursday
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
