I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I looked at my own cervix.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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