Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
