quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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