Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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