is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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