I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
