Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
