my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
