he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
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just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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