i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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