the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
