no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
