He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my shit smells like andre
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
