This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
