I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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