when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
