So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
pray to the hookup gods
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
