I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i think my cat just said my name.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
