I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize