This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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