the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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