you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I have post one night stand depression
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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