I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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