Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
