Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
