I want to have your abortion
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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