It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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