SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
