you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
